Monday, June 26, 2006

How to Have Peace in The Midst of Turmoil

by Lester Rennard

Peace is one of the most precious commodities that anyone can ever possess. Nothing can substitute for it - not wealth, not fame or any material possession. Without it, there is insecurity, anxiety, misery and confusion. Everyone desires peace even when our definition for it does not always match up and the way we go about searching for it does not always make sense. Yet many of us are devoid of peace and are in a constant state of turmoil. How then can we find peace even when we are surrounded by chaos?

The path to peace first leads to the doorstep of ones own self. To have genuine peace, I must first be at peace with myself. I must first be able to quiet the conflicting voices inside of me and find resolutions to my own private inner battles. Without this first step, all other attempts at finding peace will be futile at best.

But how do I find peace with myself? I must start accepting me for who I am and stop trying to be what I am not. I must cease trying to measure up to the expectations of others by realizing that I will never be able to please everyone. I must acknowledge my limitations, fears, imperfections, doubts, failures, insecurities and inadequacies. I must make peace with my conscience by learning to offer and to seek and receive forgiveness.

To have inner peace also means that I must consistently and intentionally align my actions and choices with the values to which I subscribe. I must make choices to care for my social, physical, mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual needs and be in balance. I must maintain personal integrity without regard for what is expedient.

When I am at peace with myself, I will then be better able to be at peace with my environment. I will learn to accept others as they are and not feel that I have a right to change them. I will know that the sum total of a person's disposition, demeanor and behavior is being influenced by what is going on in his or her own inner world and over which I have no control. I will be less inclined to absorb the negative energies of those who are not at peace with themselves and then choose not to take their slights personally.

Since peace must first reside within one's own self before one can be at peace with that which is on the outside, it stands to reason that the one who has inner peace may navigate the turbulent waters of life while his/her soul remains anchored in stillness and calm. Whenever I am at peace with myself, I will not permit anything to steal my joy or to make me anxious and miserable. I will not allow the turmoils on the outside to rob me of my priceless possession of that peace that 'passeth all understanding'.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Blessing of Adversity

by Lester Rennard

Most readers of this blog, I assume, are familiar by experience with adversity. No one having gone through adversity would agree that in itself, it is a blessing. Adversity brings pain, disappointment, loss, misfortune, tragedy and grief that tries the soul of its victim and oftentimes results in confusion, despair, financial reversal, shattered lives, broken dreams and hope left tethering at the brink.

Someone, for example, has just been informed by her family doctor that the result of her latest mammogram indicates a breast tumor that the biopsy confirms to be cancerous. She is thirty-five years old, the mother of a vibrant three year-old and enjoying a happy marriage and a very supportive husband. Up to this point, life was going very well for her and now, upon hearing this news, she is plunged into the dark hole of adversity. Can any blessing be derived from this development?

A forty-two year-old professional family man just bought a new home for his family under a year ago. He was newly promoted to a much more responsible position in his company with a hefty pay increase. His wife is a stay at home mom taking care of their young child. He has been working with this company for the past fifteen years and has just learned that the company has become insolvent and will be liquidating. The outlook for employment in the short term is very dim and all the benefits accumulated over the years might no longer exist under the current circumstances. Will he be forced to relocate to a new area to find suitable employment? How will he support his family when most of his cash resources were just invested in this new home and he might not now realize any funds from his company retirement program due to its insolvency? These new uncertainties have thrust him on the horn of a dilemma and he is falling flat on the face of adversity. Can there be any real blessing in all of this?

Joseph, a young man, has been accused and convicted of a crime that he did not commit. Because of the clout, high social standing and influence of his accuser, he never had a chance. The odds are stacked against him, despite the fact that his criminal conviction resulted from his refusal to engage in activities that he believed would violate his conscience and moral principles. The criminal justice system believed his accuser and discounted the evidences he offered in his own defense. He is facing the prospect of a long prison sentence. Why is he facing such injustice despite his integrity? What blessing could ever come out of this adversity into which he is now plunged?

The blessing is not within the actual adversity but contained within the outcome of the adversity. The outcome of an adversity is determined by the attitude, perspective, determination, fortitude and perseverance of the one involved. When plunged into an adversity, one is faced with many questions and certain decisions. Why is this happening to me? What have I done or am I doing to cause this situation? What adjustment is this calling for me to make in my life? When will this condition go away? Is there any hope that I might ever overcome and recover from this? What lessons am I to learn from all this?

The news of a cancerous growth in her body may influence a young mother to either give up and lose the will to live or may galvanize her to fight this cancer with all the resources at her disposal, so that she may recover and live for the benefit of her family. It may positively influence a new kind of lifestyle for her and may provide her with opportunities to share her story with others faced with the same dilemma; and to convince many to also change their lifestyles, in an effort to prevent the disease. If her story and influence result in many others being educated, informed and propelled into taking actions to adopt appropriate lifestyles to prevent or mitigate the onslaught of cancer, the outcome of her adversity becomes a blessing. Even if she herself were never to survive the cancer, her legacy of helping to save many others as a result of her adversity, would accrue to being a blessing.

The forty two year-old professional facing the adversity of the sudden loss of job, income and fortune and very little prospect of an immediate replacement income to support his family, may either choose to resort to self-pity and give up or fight the odds to find a way. This job loss and no immediate job opportunities in his area might cause him to do some personal stock taking. He may find that he has skills that he might be able to offer as an independent entrepreneur. By pursuing this independent path, he might be able to build a modest business that not only allows him to support his family but to also rebuild his retirement fortune and provide job opportunities for others. The adversity of losing a job, financial resources and prospects for new employment results in the outcome of a blessing and a more financially secure future.

Joseph may not be able to see any blessing that could ever result from being falsely convicted and imprisoned. He determined to remain faithful to the ideals of personal integrity. He also determined to make every effort to improve and prepare himself for the time when he would be released so as to make a difference in his own life and others. He demonstrated himself to being a trustworthy and dependable young man. He used the opportunity provided by the system to improve on his education and in the process earning a valuable college degree. His stellar behavior, ambition and excellent example of right conduct caught the attention of the powers that be and won him an opportunity for a new trial. This new trial saw much evidence of his innocence and released him from prison. He was provided with an opportunity to use his acquired knowledge and skills and is now very successful in a rewarding career. Being in prison was not a blessing for Joseph, but his attitude that created a favorable outcome for him resulted in a blessing.

If you are facing adversity and can identify with any of the above scenarios, consider that there may very well be a seed somewhere in your adversity that you may identify, nurture and grow into a full, mature plant that may result into a harvest of blessings. As the saying goes, if life hands you a lemon, turn it into lemonade and enjoy the refreshing drink.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Value of Integrity

by Lester Rennard

"What's Right is Right, What's Wrong is Wrong, And You Can't Compromise With Integrity". These words have been ascribed to the late United States Senator Sam Ervin, Jr. of North Carolina who gained fame from his role in chairing the Senate Watergate Committee that resulted in the resignation of President Richard Nixon. I have immortalized this statement for my own personal inspiration by engraving it on a wall plaque.

Integrity has become a popular buzzword from the highest seats of governments to the profit analysis gurus of corporate boardrooms; from the ivory halls of academia to the locker rooms of entertainment sports. From the boiler rooms of media houses to the man on the street, the talk of integrity reverberates across the landscape of every stratum of society. But just what is integrity and why is there so much attention being focused on it?

Integrity is a personal quality that one possesses that makes that individual trustworthy and credible. It addresses authenticity, honesty, fairness, lack of duplicity, dependability and excellence in moral and ethical character. It is not only limited to describing individuals but also groups, political entities, institutions, governments and corporate enterprises.

In considering political candidates to represent them, constituents are concerned about the integrity of the potential candidates who offer themselves to be considered for election. People want to know that their representatives are trustworthy and are individuals of moral and ethical characters, who will not violate their trust or use the privilege of their offices and positions for corrupt practices and personal gain. These concerns are legitimate when one considers the many and all too frequent cases of political figures who are either accused or convicted of malfeasance and corruption by abusing their oath of office.

Many people have lost fortunes and have been forced into bankruptcies because the institutions and corporations in which they invested their life's savings have deceived them. Corporate officers of the highest rankings who were thought to be people of integrity have been found out to be otherwise. They violate the trust of their investors and other stakeholders by falsely reporting phantom profits in an effort to inflate and influence the value of their corporate stocks in the stocktrading marketplace. When these deceptions are brought to light, the corporations involved often suffer tremendous losses or at worst collapse, sometimes almost overnight, erasing the fortunes of many unsuspecting stakeholders.

We live in a world where we cannot avoid trusting others to safeguard and promote our various welfares. The citizens of a geopolitical area whether a township, city, parish, state or nation cannot all govern and so must choose others whom they trust to govern as their representatives. Stockholders in a corporation cannot all direct the affairs of the enterprise and so they elect directors whom they trust to safeguard their investments and promote the profit and welfare of the corporation. The members of a church cannot all provide leadership for the body and so they elect leaders whom they trust to be people of integrity to provide such leadership. Judges and people in law enforcement are appointed and entrusted as individuals of integrity to maintain justice and fair play and to uphold and enforce the rule of law with impartiality.

When we look for people of integrity to lead, direct and safeguard our interests, we are not looking for people who are perfect. We are looking for individuals who are genuine and do not have ulterior motives as they offer themselves to us as trustworthy. The quest is for individuals of character who will do what they say they will do and will have the strength of character to resist the ever present temptations and inducements to use the power vested in them to benefit themselves and others associated at the expense of those who have entrusted them.

Integrity is a valuable asset that we all should strive to acquire and secure for ourselves. It is valuable in the formation of any relationship and invaluable in the most intimate of relationships between husbands and wives. Integrity is valuable in the classroom as students resist the temptation to cheat on academic assignments and tests. It is valuable for adolescents as they seek the trust and confidence of their parents and guardians. Integrity is invaluable as a character trait in any position of trust in which credibility is indispensable, whether it is the presidency of a nation or the street sweeper of a city. It is of utmost value in business, in the formation of contracts, in law, in medicine and in all areas of life.

When trust is violated, integrity goes through the back door and whatever legacy of excellence that one might have previously accumulated, it is quickly diluted and sometimes almost forgotten in the face of the scandal. When trust is upheld and integrity maintained with vigilance, credibility soars and the one who possesses such a character will ever be held in the highest esteem and his or her legacy immortalized and not soon forgotten. The terms 'honest Abe' and 'Mother Teresa' are testimonies to this fact.

Copyright(c)2006 by Lester Rennard. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Finding Freedom In Forgiveness

by Lester Rennard

When you choose to forgive, you make the choice to free yourself from a certain kind of bondage that has dangerous physical, psychological, emotional, mental and spiritual consequences. Those who refuse to forgive and instead hang on to a grudge, are robbing themselves of one of the most emancipating experiences that one could ever have.

Forgiveness on the human level does more for the one at the offering end than the one at the receiving end. Whenever there is an issue existing between two individuals that causes one to feel hurt, betrayed or rejected; it may develop to a point where that individual carries around a feeling of anger, resentment or hatred for the other person who is supposedly responsible for that state of affair. The one who is offended may continue to stew in the emotional pot of a negative disposition toward the offender and by refusing to forgive and let go, may assume that they are punishing the offender. The truth however, is that by holding on to the negative emotions triggered by a refusal to forgive, one is doing more to punish self than the offender.

I have often heard individuals, in counseling, strongly emphasize their refusal to forgive the ones who have hurt them or inflicted the kinds of pains that have disrupted their lives, and share how they do not believe they will ever be able to forgive. It may be from one whose spouse becomes abusive, demanding and finally abandons the family and runs off with another person. On the surface, it would appear that this abandoned spouse has all the right to refuse to forgive that partner who does not deserve forgiveness at all. After all, how could anyone who has any emotion whatsoever expect another to forgive when he or she has been so brutally treated and hurt by such a heartless individual?

Although I will empathize with the one who is hurting and affirm his or her right and need to express their legitimate feelings of hurt and anger in a controlled manner and to grieve their loss, I will never support the idea of ultimately refusing to forgive the offender. When you are hurt by someone and you refuse to forgive that person, you are actually allowing the individual to continue inflicting the pains on you that have caused you so much grief. Forgiveness, when you are at the psychological point of readiness to address it, allows you to let go of the pain and hurt by which you have been afflicted and prepare yourself for ultimate healing and recovery. As long as you refuse to forgive, you continue to live with the very person or situation that you so despise.

Forgiveness brings a freedom to the one offering it that is unequaled by anything else of the like. Because it does more to benefit the innocent party, one may truly and freely forgive without the offender being even aware of your action. The harboring of malice, anger, revenge and resentment creates a negative and stressful life situation that depresses the immune system, heightens blood pressure, causes anxieties and exposes one to all kinds of health problems including stroke, nervous breakdown and cardiovascular problems. The most effective way to deflect the damage that another would want to perpetrate on you is to refuse to embrace the hurt and its negative psychological consequences by choosing to let go of the bitterness by forgiving.

If most of us were consciously aware of the power of forgiveness and the positive benefits that we can derive from it, we would be much more generous and willing to exercise it appropriately. The most effective way to punish and get back at someone who means to hurt you and see you suffer is to deflect the weapons they are attempting to use against you and let them see how you are able to triumph over their ill will. The weapons deflected most often bounce right back at their senders.

In the New Testament biblical Scriptures, Jesus teaches that God willingly forgives sins. In fact, He is more willing to forgive than we are to receive the forgiveness. He also teaches that the extent to which we are willing to forgive others is the extent to which God freely forgives us. If you desire to free yourself from the bondage created by a refusal to forgive, why not break free from the shackles in which you have been bound and take revenge on your aggressor by offering forgiveness and thus rescuing yourself from its grips!?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

How To Live a Balanced Life

by Lester Rennard

A very important goal that we all should strive to achieve and maintain in our lives is balance. We are physical beings but we also have other components that are highly complementary that combine to keep us in check in order that we may live in a state of physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, emotional and social equilibrium; in addition to having a sense of purpose. Whenever these components are operational, we tend to enjoy living, be more content, be more at peace with ourselves and our external environment, be more hopeful and enjoy longer, healthier and more rewarding lives. If any component is out of alignment, we lose our sense of balance and are not able to live our lives at the maximum. Depending on the zone that is out of sync, we may find ourselves more anxious, less fulfilled, less hopeful and are less at peace with ourselves and others.

In this equation for equilibrium, the most obvious component is our physical selves. We should do everything in our powers to promote and maintain our physical wellbeing. This means eating regular, well balanced and nutritious meals in addition to consuming adequate amounts of pure water on a daily basis. Maintaining physical health and wellbeing also mean abstaining from introducing into ones system anything that is injurious to health such as tobacco, narcotics, unhealthy foods, and other destructive substances. There is also the need for regular exercise, sleep, rest and recreation.

To promote and enhance our mental component, we should exercise and educate our brains and constantly challenge ourselves by obtaining and applying knowledge through the learning of new things, ideas, processes, methods, skills and techniques to help us fulfill our purpose. When the brain is exercised by reading, wrestling with new ideas and concepts and by study and application of knowledge, we keep our mental powers sharp and well tuned to handle the challenging details and vicissitudes of our lives.

Our psychological health and wellbeing depend to a great extent on the content of our subconscious conditioning. In the language of information technology, we are told that the input of garbage will result in the output of garbage. What this means is that we are influenced by the content of what we are fed and what we feed ourselves psychologically. We are influenced by our cultivated and inherited tendencies that we act upon and by the environment of our homes and the institutions in which we place our trust and confidence.

What we think and believe about ourselves, what we accept about how others think of us affect our psychological state of mind. If the input is positive and healthy, we will have a healthy psychological balance but if the input is negative, we will most likely have an unhealthy and dysfunctional outlook that can do major damage to our prospects for successful living. In addition, we should endeavor to avoid feasting our minds on things that can inflame the lower passions and cause us to forfeit self-control. Such things as pornography, literature, music, film, the occult or any activities and practices that are demoralizing will have detrimental effect on our psychological health as they have a way of influencing our choices and behaviors. Instead, we should feast our minds on that which is virtuous, ennobling, positive and uplifting; while bearing in mind that whatever we think about and focus more on, whether negative or positive, we become like.

The spiritual dimension is one area of balance that many try to ignore as irrelevant and unnecessary. It is the one dimension that forms the axis upon which all others find their bearing and around which, they all revolve. We are created with what appears to be a spiritual vacuum that can only be filled whenever we engage in a vertical relationship with our Creator. This dimension gives meaning to our existence, gives us hope and provides for us a source for sustenance, support and encouragement in our times of need. When we attempt to avoid this dimension or try to fill the vacuum with anything other than that for which it was designed, our lives appear empty and without any deeper meaning or purpose.

We create emotional and social balance by the relationships we form on our horizontal level. We do so by developing different kinds and degrees of relationships to address our various emotional and social needs. We enter into relationships of love that form the basis of commitment and marriage between male and female to address the deepest and most intimate emotional and social needs for which we seek fulfillment. Other degrees of relationship provide friendship, support and a shoulder to lean on when the hammer of life delivers too much of a heavy strike and our anvils appear too inadequate to absorb the blows.

Whenever all these dimensions are in sync and our lives in balance, we find fulfillment and a sense of purpose and our lives are never without meaning. The key therefore to a balanced life is to develop and maintain a healthy, functional environment where all our physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, emotional and social needs are acknowledged and addressed appropriately.