Monday, January 08, 2007

The Greatest Gift A Boy Desires From His Father

by Lester Rennard

What boy growing up with a loving, caring, dependable and responsible dad does not want to grow up to be just like his dad? For such a lad, dad is the symbol of strength and security and the one who can do anything and can do no wrong. In fact, this perception of dad also influences the youngster's perception of God since dad is his 'father on earth' and God is his 'Father in Heaven'.

For the dad who is unknown, absent or who exists in name only, the experience for a young boy without the positive influence of a father can be disconcerting. A boy has a natural desire to speak proudly of his dad. He wants his peers to know that his dad is better than their dads, makes more money than their dads, can do anything better than their dads and can even fight with their dads and win. When others are boasting about their dads and he does not have one to brag about, this experience is crushing for a young boy.

A boy growing up with his father gets his lessons on what it means to be a man from his dad. Whatever example his father models before him will have far reaching implications for what he becomes as a man. His sense of identity is carved from what he perceives of his dad and during the formative years of his life when he is very impressionable, a boy learns to absorb the lessons of manhood that his father models before him.

If the experience with his father is positive and uplifting, a lad will have a solid foundation upon which to build his life and identity as a man. The love, respect and caring attitude that he observes displayed toward his mother will establish a positive frame of reference for him in later years in his relationships with women and eventually how he treats the one female that he chooses as his life's partner. If a father is uncaring, irresponsible, abusive and disloyal, he is actually reinforcing within the impressionable subconsciousness of his son that to be a man, these are the qualities he must adopt.

A boy who grows up in a home where his father abandons the family or is an absentee dad will have a difficult time relating positively to God as a caring Father as he grows up to become an adult. Without the role model of a father, he is predisposed to growing up and becoming himself an absentee father who may abandon his own offspring. He may only be spared from continuing the cycle of his own childhood experience by intentionally making choices to not repeat the sins of his father.

With the influences that a dad has on his son so crucial for how he may turn out to be as an adult male, it is imperative that a father be consciously mindful of his own example that he models before his boy. Since a boy looks to his father as the source for his identity as a man, the greatest gift that he desires from his father is for him to model by example what it means to be a strong, compassionate and responsible man; a caring, dependable and available father and a loving, kind and faithful husband.

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