The Greatest Gift A Girl Desires From Her Mother

by Lester Rennard

If the greatest gift a girl desires from her father is the gift of modeling to her the image and qualities of what constitutes positive maleness and what she should expect in her future relationship with the opposite sex, what then is the greatest gift that she desires of her mother?

Especially during the teen years, the relationship between mother and daughter in many families is sometimes a very difficult one. In having a discussion with one such teen, I was amused as to how she summed up her difficult relationship with her mother in their single parent all female household, "There is just too much estrogen in this house!" How could one realistically dispute her claim when most of the conflicts they experience are usually surrounding issues of unreconciled emotions?

Despite the tensions however that may sometimes exist between mother and daughter, the experience of an overall positive relationship between the two is a blessing for any girl desiring to learn the lessons of womanhood. A girl's concept of femininity can be greatly influenced by the way her mother models such qualities and of which she makes herself an example. Many little girls in their formative years will imitate their mothers and role play the qualities and things they see them do.

A knowledgeable and wise mother will ensure that her own dispositions, actions and qualities will be of a standard that may have positive implications for her daughter. She will be intentional in her modeling of the qualities of what it means to be a woman of grace and virtue. She will demonstrate caring attitudes, self-respect, confidence, fidelity and the value of honesty and truth as vital parts of the foundation upon which she should build her life.

A girl's concept of the role of women in the home and society may also be greatly influenced by her mother's attitude towards such role. Before the advent of the electronic media and the availability of those slick advertising messages targeted toward them, girls would develop most of their female role concepts from their environmental exposure to the significant females in their lives. If their female role models had unhealthy concepts of their own roles and subjected themselves to unhealthy relationships with men, they would most likely be confused about their own roles and expectations in any male-female relationship.

The greatest gift therefore that a mother may give to her daughter is the gift of modeling before her what it means to be a woman of value and virtue. She will help her daughter to understand the roles of a mother and a wife and instill within her the idea that true beauty is not just physical but more so the essence that flows from an unyielding character. By her attitude toward the relationship with her husband, a mother will also be influencing her daughter's attitude toward her own potential future mate. With this reality in mind, it is therefore incumbent upon mothers to ensure that their daughters receive the best modeling from their own examples and dispositions.