The Greatest Gift A Boy Desires From His Mother

by Lester Rennard

We have previously noted that there is a special relationship between a girl and her father that has great impact and influence on how she may relate with and her expectations of men. There is also a special relationship between a mother and son that may indeed influence his perception of women and his eventual choice of a life companion.

For the record, I must state, at this juncture, that it is not absolute that children who grow up to be adults are destined to be influenced in their perceptions and choice of companionship by the relationships and perceptions they have with and of their own parents. There are children who grow up in very dysfunctional homes in which they witness and may themselves be subjects of abuse and yet make the deliberate choice to establish relationships that are opposite to what they experienced. There are also children who grow up in homes that are relatively healthy and functional where they experienced love and acceptance and yet go off into making relationship choices that mirror the very opposite to what they were exposed. What is true is that one is predisposed to replicating in his or her own life choices the experiences they saw modeled in their parents as children. An abused child is predisposed to becoming an abuser itself, since the experience of abuse is its frame of reference.

That being said, we will move on. Without much conscious thought, men are subconsciously attracted to women who are like their mothers. After all, his mother is the first female with whom a boy had to relate. She is the one that gave birth to and nurtured him, and the one female with whom he spent the most formative years of his life. His perceptions of women will be influenced by what she modeled before him. His expectations of a wife in later years will be influenced by how he observed she treated his father. The way she did things as a woman is the way he will subconsciously be expecting that other women will do those same things.

With this knowledge therefore, a mother can offer the greatest gift to her son in properly modeling before him the ingredients that constitute a woman of value. She will impress on him the importance of virtue, self-respect and fidelity as hallmarks of the ideal woman and she will do so by her example moreso than by just words. She will help him to learn to look beyond just the external to focus on the true character of any girl or woman he may be considering for friendship and relationship and not be carried away by the physical appearance of attractiveness alone.

By her devotion to the welfare of her family, she will be instructing him on what to look for when exploring for caring qualities in any female. By her refusal to entertain gossip when approached by other women, she will be modeling to him how to distinguish between a woman who minds her own business and one who is a busybody. Her affectionate and kindly concern and commitment to the relationship with his dad will reinforce in him the nature and disposition of a life partner and what he should expect in the woman with whom he may have as a wife in later years.

This is the greatest gift that a boy desires from his mother - to model what it is to be a true woman, mother and wife. By giving him this gift, she will positively influence his perception and respect for women and the destiny he'll create for himself and his future family in his choice of a life partner to complement him as his equal.