How to Express Love - Unconditionally

by Lester Rennard

Unconditional love! What does it mean? Is it possible for the likes of us mortals to express? If so, how can it be done? When I consider unconditional love, my definition is that it is an absolute love expressed unreservedly and without any condition or merit for that love whatsoever. If I keep true to my definition, I must confess that I do not believe that any mortal has the capacity to express a love that is absolute and for which the subject of that love has to meet no condition or merit to receive it.

I believe that God alone has the capacity to express or offer something that is absolute. In our fallen imperfect nature, we are limited in all our capacities and therefore cannot give what we do not have. Unconditional love is perfect love and because of its absolute nature it's beyond our capacity, as imperfect creatures, to offer. I concede however that those whose hearts are connected to the heart of Him who is Love are able to reflect dimly attributes of that love but not absolutely.

For those who might be very evangelistic about the human possibility of expressing this kind of love and are ready to take me on, please help me to find reconciliation with my human imperfection and thus my inability to humanly offer anything that is absolute and perfect.

My understanding of God's offer of unconditional love is that He loves us and accepts us based not on our response to Him but on the basis of who He is. He loves us unconditionally whether or not we choose to love Him in return. He causes His rain to fall upon the just as well as the unjust and condescended to sacrifice Himself for us while we were enemies lost and deceived by the devil. He does not require us to meet any condition for Him to love us or to qualify for His offer of grace. Our only effort is to accept, receive, embrace and appropriate His benefits to us.

I often counsel with couples who are having difficulties in their relationships. I have also seen other couples whose relationships seem to have been made in heaven. They are happy, contented, accepting of each other and very much in love. Nothing seems to be able to cause them to separate from each other, yet upon closer scrutiny, I have never seen one who can honestly and truly say that their love is absolute, perfect and unconditional for the other. There is always something that could cause the love to change such as continuous abuse, unrelenting infidelity, abandonment and continuous rejection. Such responses from us do not cause God to love us any less.

I am convicted that since unconditional love is an absolute love that is perfect, it is not required of us. What I believe is expected is for us to express the kind of love that is the highest to which we are humanly capable in our mortal state. A couple should mutually devote themselves to promoting what is best for each other in the most selfless way possible. As long as they remain mutually true to each other, their love will continue to be but a dim reflection of unconditional love.

The love of a good parent for a child may come the closest to the dim reflection of what constitutes unconditional love. The child may rebel and revolt and violate all the rules but yet that good parent though hurt, disappointed and angry, may still find love in his or her heart for that wayward child. The relationship may not be the same as if when a child is obedient and dutiful, but nonetheless they may still have some degree of love for their child despite its waywardness.

Copyright(c)2006 by Lester Rennard