How to Cope With Stress Without Being Stressed Out

by Lester Rennard

Stress, I believe, is one of the biggest issues of health, social and economic problems facing masses of people in mainly developed countries such as in North America and Europe. The conflicting demands that modern society continually places on people to achieve materially are taking their toll and in the aftermath, such health problems as hypertension, impaired immune systems, ulcers, heart disease, mental illness and a host of social and economic ills run rampant across the landscape of what superficially appears to be prosperity. Unable to cope, many people, behind the facade of expensive houses, cars and the latest gadgets, are silently breaking at the seams from the erosion that stress and the fast pace of life are causing to the fabric of their lives.

The consequences of individuals' inabilities to deal with the stresses of their daily lives often result in the destruction or breakdown in the quality of traditional family life, divorces, crime, juvenile delinquencies, murders, violence, suicide, diseases, depression and other ills too numerous to mention. It is impossible to totally avoid all the stresses of modern life. The goal for normal functional living is not to try to avoid all stress but to develop a proactive way of response to eliminate those that are unnecessary and to manage those that are unavoidable.

It must be understood that stress, itself, is not the primary problem. We are constantly faced with pressures and strains, worries and cares - how to make ends meet, pay the mortgage, car notes and other bills. When we are confronted with these pressures, events and demands, we are also faced with some choices. We may choose to accept the challenges they bring and find creative ways to positively address them for our benefit and advantage or we may choose to react and suffer negative consequences.

Whenever we react to these circumstances, called stressors, we allow them to take control and to dictate our frame of mind and attitudes. This psychological reactive response is what we call stress. The resulting stress, if not properly managed, has the power to break or destroy us. If we choose not to react but to be proactive in finding solutions, the potentially stress inducing circumstance looses its ability to cause us any distress.

As an illustration, one individual may experience the loss of his job. This loss of job becomes a potential stress inducing circumstance (stressor) that equates to a loss of income that further could translate into his inability to continue meeting his financial obligations and existing lifestyle. If this individual begins to worry about the negative fallout of not having a job and the income it produces, a process of stress begins that could lead to anxiety, ulcer, other health problems, relationship breakdown, among other things. One may, in the process, become so absorbed in worrying about the potential negative consequences of unemployment that he misses out on opportunities to regain employment and a regular income.

A positive and proper management of this stress inducing situation may involve a decision to resist any temptation to waste valuable energy in worrying, since it can never contribute to a solution. Instead of drowning oneself in a negative focus, the individual may use the opportunity to re-evaluate his resume, begin networking and applying for new employment opportunities. He may further begin a program of managing his available resources in an emergency mode to allow them to stretch to meet his obligations until he is once more able to earn an income. His perseverance, creativity and positive attitude may result in a new job that offers a better opportunity and income than the one he lost - his crisis transformed into a blessing.

We may eliminate some of the causes or stress inducing factors in our lives by choosing to simplify our lifestyles, avoiding the materialistic trap and to find contentment in living despite the vicissitudes of the modern life. To do so includes establishing priorities, setting realistic goals, avoiding unnecessary debts, living within ones means, avoiding overcommitment and overwork, learning to relax and getting adequate rest and sleep, managing resources properly, adopting a healthy diet and exercise, maintaining loving relationships and good support systems and having a healthy faith and trust in God and His promise to provide for our needs. There is also the need to take life but not oneself seriously and to cultivate a good sense of humor.

Talking about a sense of humor, I saw the following humorous statement posted in a business establishment and entitled "'Why Worry' - There is nothing to worry about except one thing, whether you're healthy or whether you're sick. If you're healthy, there is nothing to worry about; but if you're sick, there's only one thing to worry about, whether you'll recover or whether you'll die. If you'll recover, there is nothing to worry about; but if you'll die, there is only one thing to worry about, whether you'll go to heaven or whether you'll go to hell. If you'll go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about; but if you'll go to hell, you will be so busy shaking hands with friends that you won't have time to worry - so why worry?"