Have You Given Your Self-Esteem a Checkup Lately?

by Lester Rennard

You may have had your annual medical checkup recently but have you given your self-esteem a checkup lately? If you haven't, you may be in for a great surprise when you do. You know where to go for a medical checkup, but do you know where to go to get a checkup on your self-esteem? How will it fare with you?

To get a self-esteem checkup, one does not have to go too far or spend those hypertension inducing minutes or hours sitting in a waiting room, passing the time browsing through outdated magazines in which you have no real interest. You do not need to set an appointment. In fact, you might just need to walk across to your mirror and take a long deep look at yourself with the operative word being 'deep'. What do you see when you take that deep look, going beyond the surface to the innermost parts of your being?

What image of yourself do you conceive when observing the reflection of you in that mirror? Your self-esteem will be determined by that image you conceive of yourself and your direction and destiny will be influenced accordingly. If the image you see reflected in the mirror is negative and poor, your self-esteem will invariably be low producing symptoms such as pride at one extreme and self-depreciation at the other. If the image is a positive one, your self-esteem will be healthy producing the virtues of humility and self-acceptance.

When a person struggles with a low self-esteem, it is usually the result of a negative self-image. Your self-image is the concept of yourself based on the composite of what you accept and believe of what others think about you, your belief about what God thinks of you if you're spiritually inclined, your current status in life and the internal programs that constitute your operating system such as your life's experiences and exposures.

If you were always being told by others that you would amount to nothing in life and you believe it, you will lack the self-confidence life requires to persevere toward success and will accept yourself as a failure. If you had parents and guardians who were demanding, judgmental and hard to please, you may likely view God as not accepting of you and will always be insecure. If you experienced or were exposed to abusive situations such as emotional, physical, psychological or sexual abuse, you will most likely have a low value of your own self-worth.

An individual with a healthy self-esteem is one who has chosen to accept the truth about his or her reality. Such an individual accepts the fact of his or her own imperfection and refuses to internalize the negative opinions of others that do not confirm that reality. If this individual grew up with demanding and fastidious parents, he or she will choose to learn the independent truth about God from sources that are reliable and trustworthy rather than through a faulty parental mold. If abuse was suffered at the hands of others, the one with a healthy self-esteem will grow to accept the brokenness of the abusers that prompted their actions, choose to forgive and take back their lost value and self-worth.

The one with a healthy self-esteem neither sees him/herself as superior or inferior to anyone. He or she learns and models the value of perseverance, is self-confident yet humble, and goes through life seeing challenges as opportunities and is at peace with self and others. This individual chooses to dwell on the positive side of life while not denying the existence of negative forces at work.

As the Scripture teaches that as a man thinks in his heart so is he, the truth remains that your self-esteem is derived from your concept of your own self-worth. If you conceive yourself to be valuable, you will create value and refuse to acknowledge and admit any thought, habit, behavior or opinion of others that are not consistent with the image that you are choosing to create. You are what you think.